Not me.

At my house, today is a free-for-all….it’s as though calories don’t even count today!  I mean, if thousands of people in New Orleans are going to chug sugar-laden hurricane drinks until they can’t see straight, a chocolate covered snack or two today won’t kill me, right?

Bourbon Street Circus

Of course, the fact that Fat Tuesday is occurring smack in the middle of our Girl Scout Cookie season can’t be a mere coincidence, can it?  Sometimes you just gotta go with fate….and have a few cookies.

Thin mint, anyone?

In fact, I’ve been running.  A lot.  I actually made it up to 5 miles.  In a single work out!  That’s incredible for me - I haven’t run that far since high school.  Has it really been 20 years?  Wow.  Should old people really run that much at once?  Sigh.

In the process of “becoming” a runner again, I’ve ended up on the email lists of a few sports retailers.  This morning I received a promotion that looked pretty good, and I began looking for another pair of running pants.  (In our harsh Arizona winters it’s about 35 degrees in the morning when I run, I won’t be able to wear shorts again until at least February….).

And then I found these “breathable rain pants”.

Get this: the product description states ”You’ll slice through rain in this breathable, water resistant, windproof pant designed for free movement.”

What kind of crazy person runs in the rain? On purpose?! 

Someone who really freaking loves to run, I guess.   I mean, rainy days are why treadmills were made, right?  Of course, I hate running on treadmills…but that can’t be as bad as running in the freezing rain, could it?!

True, I can envision a summertime run with a welcoming - yet unexpected - cloudburst that cools you off.  Facing that, I would definitely keep running.  But I still don’t think you’d see me leave the house to start a run while it was raining. 

Just who are these loonies running in the rain?  There must be a number of them - enough to drive the product development that resulted in these “rain pants”. 

I guess my biggest question is WHY?  Set me straight. If you are one of these crazy, rain-running, rain-pant purchasing people, please enlighten me and post a comment.  Perhaps your rain-running wisdom will help me defeat my Inner Slug on those cold, drizzly mornings.

What’d you like best about it:

a) Becoming an annoying freak to your friends, family & co-workers, as you obsessively kept meticulous notes on everything you ate for the first 2 days? 

b) Racking your brain on days 3+ trying to remember everything you consumed so you could record it in your notebook each night?

c) Conveniently forgetting to log the chocolate chip cookies you snacked on while racing around running errands after work?

d) Wondering why you haven’t lost any weight when your daily totals show you’re only consuming about 500 calories a day?

Sure, tracking what you eat makes sense in a lot of ways.  For example, it requires that you acknowledge that the “healthy” smoothie you downed between breakfast and lunch is actually a meal in itself.  It keeps you focused on your committment to healthy eating because you know you’re going to have to write it down.  And logging what you eat can also serve as a journal for your fitness transformation (”Did I really used to eat like that?!”).

But it can also be extremely tedious.  And don’t forget the lovely side effects A through D listed above.

Well, there’s a new method to calorie counting, that might just alleviate some of the headaches involved with the traditional approach. 

New services such as MyFoodPhone.com allow you to take a photo of your meal using your cell phone and transmit it to your online profile.  They will compile the data for you, track & review your habits, provide personalized feedback, and direct you to their online resources.

I’m naturally skeptical, and I wondered if this approach would work for me.  I mean, I can pay them a small monthly fee for tracking this data and providing advice, or I could do this on my own with just a little time and focus, right? 

So I decided to run a comparison test.  Written notes vs. a photo journal of my meals for a day. 

Using the online calorie counter at LiveStrong.com, I transcribed my notes into this list:

• Breakfast: Atkins Protein shake, 160 calories
• Morning snack: small banana, 60 calories
• Lunch: Turkey sandwich and cheese stick, 248 calories
• Afternoon snack: fresh raspberries and blueberries, 58 calories
• Dinner: chicken breast & salad, 265 calories
• Total: 791 calories

Fantastic!

Here’s the photo version:

Breakfast & morning snack   

Lunch

Afternoon snack

Dinner

After doing this little experience, it’s obvious that tracking calories on my own will work out just fine.  Sure, it may take a little effort on my part, but who really needs those pesky nazis nutritional experts reviewing my meals for me?

Admittedly, my calorie total could be off a little bit here or there. So let’s be generous and say I was at 1,000 calories for the day, shall we?  At this rate, that extra 20 pounds should be gone in no time!

Working overtime.  Lunch with a friend.  Getting sick.

Over the years, I’ve learned to listen to my body when I begin to feel a little rundown, and take a day or two off from exercise in hopes of avoiding a full-blown illness that throws me out of commission for a week or more.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.

Of course, when I give myself permission to skip the gym, I feel like the “disappointed” child who wakes up with chicken pox on the day of the big spelling test. “Guess I’ll have to make it up another day, huh, Mom?”

Despite my precautions of massive vitamins, homeopathic supplements and exercise-skipping, sometimes I still end up sick.  And although I think about returning to the gym once I’m on the mend, I often put it off a few more days. 

“What if I’m almost recovered, but not quite, and a weight training session tips the scales, drops my immunity, and I end up sick for another week?  I definitely don’t want that to happen!  Better take it easy through the weekend.”  Or the quarter.  And my exercise program falls by the wayside.  Again.

However, I now know that’s really my Inner Slug talking, just doing her job.  Nothing personal.

So when I felt a cold coming on recently, I took it easy for a day or two, but still got my butt kicked by whatever germs triumphed my immune system [probably got them at the gym!] and was justifiably off exercise for nearly a week.

When my Inner Slug suggested that I take one more day off from exercise, I ignored her.  But I didn’t go crazy, either.  I headed to the nearby Greenbelt path for a brisk let’s-get-back-to-the-exercise-routine walk. 

And during the walk, a funny thing happened.  I felt good.  I suddenly realized that this was exactly what I needed after so many days of inactivity and lethargy.

Next thing I knew, I was running.  Not at my pre-illness pace - and only for about a block - but it felt great. 

It was then that I realized - gasp! - that I had missed it.  I had actually missed exercising.

I immediately wondered what my Inner Slug had to say about that.

But she was silent!  Speechless, perhaps?

Now that’s progress!

Just watching some of these how-to-pole-dance videos is exhausting.

Look at her! How is that even possible?!

How many bicep curls would I have to do to before I could even attempt that move? 

Note To Self: keep insurance card handy for pending hospital trip resulting from inevitable pole slippage and head cracking!

We began hearing about pole dancing classes when they first hit Hollywood in 2006.  It was then that Paris Hilton, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, etc. began getting in touch with their “inner stripper.”  But these classes are now pretty mainstream, and geared toward a general fitness audience. 

In fact, such classes are even popular in China.  China!

While I admit that it’s a skill set I’d like to have, pole dancing classes are definitely not in my future.  And it has nothing to do with being uncomfortable with the “sexy” element of the class. 

Truth is, I’m an uncoordinated klutz with no natural rhythm.

When I dragged my husband to ballroom dancing lessons, I failed miserably. Even at the Waltz.  (I was amazed to discover that any man I partnered with in the class danced quite poorly…until I noticed that they did just fine with other partners.  Very embarassing.)

And if you poke your head into the aerobics class, you’ll find me in the back corner of the room, rapidly looking back and forth at the students on either side of me, trying desperately to keep up with the instructor, but always falling at least four counts behind. 

Plus, I’ve learned that bruising and burning is to be expected. 

So no pole dancing classes for me. 

Think I’ll try something safer.  Like Krav Maga.

No, not that sun.

This one:

While I’ve heard of this ”news” publication based in the UK - which can make even TMZ seem tame and empathetic - I had never had the pleasure of reading it until today.  A friend guided me to an article on The Sun’s web site entitled “The Shocking Fat Map of Britain.”  Seems we colonists aren’t the only ones facing the consequences of excessive carbs and lethargy. 

While reading about where to find the “lardiest in the land,” I noticed an advertisement inserted smack in the middle of the article:

 Oh, the irony!

Plus, I had concurrently stayed on top of a variety of projects, including all household activities, pending travel, my daughter’s back-to-school routine and two separate visits from out-of-town family.  A true record for me!  I was riding high on this sense of accomplishment.  Woo-hoo!

But my prideful euphoria and Superwoman self-image was soon whisked away.

I read that Sarah Palin - Vice-Presidential Nominee, Governor of Alaska, mother of five children (one of whom is a pregnant teenager, another an infant with Down’s Syndrome) - is working her way back up to her daily 7-10 mile run. 

In Alaska.

Where - by Slug standards - it’s only possible to go outdoors for 2.25 months per year.

I felt a little hopeful when the reporter asked about Palin’s exercise pitfalls.  Palin said that her biggest obstacle to consistency was being pregnant every few years.  That made me think that she likely falls victim to her Inner Slug, too!

But then:

“If I get lazy and go weeks or months without exercising it’s not because of circumstances but because I’m being less disciplined. Shame on me.”

Great.  She avoided hiding behind an easy excuse and took responsibility.  What kind of politician is she, anyway?

Stop buying the Cheetos, or hide in the closet to eat them?

Seems the folks at LiveStrong.com recently commissioned a survey, and they reported the results this week.   

The vast majority of young Americans (66%) report that their parents or other family members have the most influence over the choices they make regarding their overall health. Similarly, two-thirds (67%) of the respondents also indicated that their parents or other family members influence their food choices a great deal or a lot.

Sure, I already knew that part of my job as an effective parent is to model good eating habits for my daughter.  But this really puts the pressure on!

It was way easier to believe that my efforts at decent nutrition were falling on deaf ears.  I had presumed that television commercials, her friends, and even celebrities carried more weight in this area than her parents.  Who knew?

Of course, the next time she asks if we can go for ice cream, someone is going to be disappointed. 

Me.   

Thanks a lot, Lance!  

                   [art credit: DryIcons]

If you’re having trouble exercising consistently, it might not have anything to do with the highly effective derailment efforts of your Inner Slug.

Michael Smolensky, a professor at the University of Texas and author of The Body Clock Guide to Better Health: How to Use Your Body’s Natural Clock Fight Illness and Achieve Maximum Health, studies the body’s circadian rhythms and proposes that timing is everything - and that even includes exercise!

“The brain’s clock governs whether or not you’re crabby before you have your morning coffee, how quickly you can write a letter and how accurately you can proofread it, how long it takes you to bike 10 miles, whether or not you fall asleep at the symphony, when your ulcers act up, and more,” he writes.

In his book, he states that we all have an optimal time of day for activities such as work, creative pursuits, or exercise.  He classifies people as either larks, hummingbirds, or owls - and these labels can help identify the best time of day for you to exercise, if you hope to keep a consistent schedule. 

Larks wake up early and have the most long-term success exercising first thing. Hummingbirds generally sleep past dawn and have the best luck with a mid-to-late afternoon workout plan, while owls typically don’t head to bed until after midnight, and tend to be more consistent with a late evening exercise plan.

This leaves me with just one question: what about us slugs?

On those days, after waking up groggy and hitting the snooze bar repeatedly, I definitely you might sound a little like this guy: