“Physical fitness can neither be achieved by wishful thinking nor outright purchase.”  –Joseph Pilates

 

But, Mr. Pilates, wishful thinking and making outright purchases are so much easier!  Way easier than those agonizing kneeling sidekicks you developed!

In just 10 seconds of wishful thinking, I generated this list and didn’t even break a sweat:

• I wish I had Madonna’s arms
• I wish I had Dara Torres’ abs
• I wish I had the courage to try martial arts
• I wish I weren’t so damn awkward and unconfident in a gym

See how easy that was?

And regarding your “outright purchase” comment….it’s so fun to buy stuff!  Shopping for new fitness gear dupes me into feeling like I’m actually making progress!  Just check out what’s in my garage home:

• Rollerblades
• Bicycles
• Aerobic step platform
• Pilates Power Gym (your infomerical was really good!)
• Very dusty exercise ball
• Yoga Booty Ballet DVDs (the 1st half of the workout is great - someday I’ll watch the 2nd half…)

So what are you really saying, Mr. Pilates?!  That I should squish my Inner Slug, get off my butt, and consistently work hard to achieve those results that I claim I want?

Will do.  But first, I gotta run to Costco.  I heard the new South Beach Diet Super Charged Workout DVD just hit the shelves!

Tags: Costco, Pilates, South Beach Diet, Yoga Booty Ballet

It doesn’t matter which device you’re using - elliptical, treadmill, stairclimber, whatever.  They all have it.  And it is the enemy.

Don’t pretend otherwise:  You know exactly what I’m talking about.

Right there, on the LCD screen, the calorie tracker.

You’re likely thinking, “What!? How could that innocent little calorie tracker be the enemy?  It’s so useful!”

And that’s how it gets ya.

Sure, while you’re working out, it gives you warm fuzzy feelings of accomplishment.  Some days you might exclaim, “Wow!  I beat yesterday’s caloric output - woo-hoo!”  Granted, there’s nothing evil about that.

But….later on in the day, you’re feeling a little snacky.  As you head for the break room to grab the the yogurt & banana you brought to work, you pass a table of leftovers from a lunch meeting, complete with raisin oatmeal cookies.

“What could it hurt?” you think.  “After all, I burned off 300 calories on the elliptical today!”  And then  I  you devour the cookie.

Does anyone else fall prey to this evil device?  Or is it just me?

Tags: calorie tracker, evil, LCD