Nice to meet you.  I’m the Fitness Slug.

Because when it comes to diet and exercise, I’m kind of, well….sluggish.

Like many folks, I find it very difficult to choose an apple over a cookie.  Or to go sweat-it-up at the gym when I could be watching Battlestar Galactica.  

[Of course, the optimal scenario is to have two cookies while watching Battlestar Galactica.]

One day, while pondering these facts, I actually asked myself aloud, “Why is it so damn hard to make the right choice?!”

My proven inability to consistently maintain a healthy lifestyle can’t be a deficiency that I can control….can it?

There’s got to be a reason, right?  Is it inherited?  Am I genetically incapable of achieving and maintaining fitness?  Is this really my fault?!

To my surprise, I actually got an answer!

“It’s not your fault,” came the voice.

Who are you?

“I’m your inner slug,” the voice said.  “It’s my job to derail all your health and fitness efforts.”

What?

“Those mornings you wake up, intending to go running before work? I’m the one who reminds you that it’s so cold outside. And when you brown-bag a healthy lunch, I whisper ‘let’s go to McDonald’s instead’.”

Why do you do that?

“I guess I’m just power-hungry,” she confessed.

That’s so un-cool, Inner Slug! 

But I was still relieved to hear it!  Just think, all those times I had abandoned my workout plans or ordered the super-cheesecake-with-extra-caramel, it wasn’t really my fault!  I wasn’t being a loser after all!  I can blame it all on my Inner Slug!

Hey, Inner Slug!  So…if I’m a victim, helpless over your masterful methods, then I guess I can  abandon responsibility (and the guilt!) regarding my own health and fitness, right?  I get to blame you for all my missed workouts and fast-food inclinations!  I’m free!!

Oh, no.  You can blame me for my finely-honed derailment efforts, but it’s up to you to fight the good battle and beat me down each day.  You still bear the responsibility for your own health and fitness, no matter what’s going on in your life.  You’re a grown up.  If you skip a workout or scarf a Whopper, it’s because you chose to. 

I’m so screwed.